


complicated friendships and teenage jealousy (the one where baz and agatha are childhood best friends)

by catrastiel



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Agatha Wellbelove, Book 2: Wayward Son, During Canon, Gen, M/M, Minor Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Minor Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Nonbinary Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, POV Agatha Wellbelove, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow Friendship, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Friendship, Post-Book 1: Carry On, Post-Book 2: Wayward Son, Pre-Book 1: Carry On, They/Them Pronouns for Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Trans woman Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Agatha Wellbelove Friendship, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, carry on where everything is the same exept baz and agatha used to be childhood friends, cuz i think they would rule the world if they were besties, it's only a few lines but i wanted to make it clear that they are in fact gay, it's talked a little bit at the end but i'm not letting baz ce a cissie, teen and up audiances cuz the characters like to swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catrastiel/pseuds/catrastiel
Summary: “I can’t believe you got Visited by your mother and you didn’t tell me!” She shouts in my face.“I was busy trying to find her killer.”“I’m your best friend!”Baz and Agatha have always been best friends. They have. But then Agatha starts to hang out with Simon Snow and suddenly everything is so much more complicated then it should.
Relationships: Simon Snow & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	complicated friendships and teenage jealousy (the one where baz and agatha are childhood best friends)

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work but I am a sucker for Baz and Agatha friendship so (might come back to it one day guess well see)

#### 

**BEFORE WATFORD**

####  ****

**Baz  
** The first time I met Agatha Wellbelove I gave her a cookie. We were 7, and it was her first time at the club, and she spent half the night cowering behind her mother’s dress.  


My father brought me here for almost a year now, and until today, Dev and I were the only kids around. I asked him if he wants to go see the new girl, ask her if she wants to play with us (my father always told me I should be respectable when we go to The Club but Dev loves to play hide and seek and the best places to hide are the ones you get the most dirty).  


“Hi,” I said, coming up to her mother and raising my hand to catch her attention. “My name is Baz, can I play with your daughter?”  


Her mother smiled at me and turned to Agatha, putting a hand on the top of her blond hair. Agatha didn’t say anything but shook her head in approval after a while so her mother just pushed her towards me gently and turned back to her conversation.  


I grabbed her hand and dragged her to where Dev and I were sitting, giving her the cookie I had on my plate. (Mother always used to say bribery is the best flattery) “Here. I’m Baz Pitch. What’s your name?”  


She took the cookie without saying a word and took a bite out of it, crumbs falling on the chest of her pink dress. Her eyes sparkled. “Agatha Wellbelove.”  


I scrunched my nose. “Do you have a brother?”  


She took another bite. “No.”  


“Father told me the Wellbelove family has a son.”  


Agatha looks at me, her brows furrowing. “Your father is wrong.”  


I want to tell her my father is never wrong, but she takes another bite out of the cookie and starts talking, crumbs falling everywhere around us. “Where did you get this?” She says, shoving the cookie in my face to make sure I understand.  


I smile proudly. “The chefs from the kitchens. They always give me and Dev sweets if we ask them too.”  


She looks to my right where Dev is sitting and takes another bite of her cookie. “Tha’s cool.”  


I smile.

****

**Agatha  
**

Baz’s full name is _hilarious_.  


“Tyrannus? Why would someone name their child Tyrannus?” I’m sitting in my bed laughing and Baz is sitting at my feet, his eyebrows furrowed.  


“It makes me sound intimidating.”  


“It makes you sound like an 80s villain.”  


“Well, they’re cool.”  


I stand up on my elbows to watch him. “They’re ridiculous.”  


“It’s more intimidating than _Agatha_ ,” he says, crossing his arms.  


“I didn’t name myself Agatha to be intimidating.” I crawl on the bed next to him. “Maybe you should change your name!”  


“I’m not changing my name,” he says, frowning.  


“Fine,” I say, poking him in the cheek. He slaps my hand away. “But I’m gonna make fun of you for it.”  


“Everyone calls me Baz, anyway. I like Baz.”  


“Ok, Tyrannus,” I say, playfully hitting him in the forehead.  


He swats at me with his hand. “Stop that.”  


I get up from the bed. “We should get downstairs. Mom’s probably done with the sandwiches, Tyrannus.”  


He jumps from the bed and tries to catch me as I run out the door. “Stop it !”  


I giggle, jumping two stairs at the time and shouting. “You let your parents pick your name for you!”  


I hear Baz’s groaning at the top of the stairs. I laugh. He laughs too.  
****

**Baz  
**

We’re 10 now, sitting in her backyard. She’s mad at me because she wanted to spend time with her Normal friends but her mother never lets them come when I visit. It makes sense, really. I love talking about magic.  


“You can’t be mad at me forever,” I say, nudging her with my foot. She’s sitting on the ground cross-legged, purposefully ignoring me and making two Barbie dolls kiss.  


“You need a Ken for that.” I say, taking Ken from a pile of toys and sitting next to her.  


She takes her eyes off the doll and looks at me; her face serious. “No, you don’t.”  


“Father says you do.” I respond, taking one of the Barbie dolls from her hands and smashing its face into Ken’s. Agatha takes the doll back.  


“Well, he’s wrong.”  


I want to say my father is never wrong but I keep my mouth shut because every time I say it Agatha just starts laughing at me and says, “You need to stop lying to yourself.” I’m not lying to anyone, but the way she says it makes me feel stupid, so I stopped saying it around her.  


“Here,” Agatha says, shoving another doll at me, a boy. “Make them kiss and I’ll forgive you. Be a rebel.”  


I frown at the dolls. “I didn’t even do anything wrong.”  


“My friends can’t come here when you’re here.”  


“Does this mean I’m not your friend?”  


She puts the dolls down. “That’s not what I mean. I want to spend time with my Normal friends too. We’re going to go to Watford soon and I’m not going to be able to see them.”  


I don’t understand Agatha’s obsession with her Normal friends. She tells me they’re funny. I just think they’re boring. I don’t tell her that thought.  


I don’t say anything for a moment, but then I smash the dolls' faces together. “Yeah, ok. Sorry, I guess.” I’m not really sorry. And I think she knows that too, but Agatha can never stay mad at me for long. So instead she just laughs. 

#####  **

YEAR 1

**

#####  ****

**Agatha  
**

We’re at Watford waiting for the Crucible to assign us our roommates. I’m scared, but I don’t want to admit it. I know I’m a girl, I’ve always known I’m a girl, but I fear what the Crucible will think. I’m scared it's going to think I’m a boy.  


But when the moment comes, when the soft pull of magic makes me move around the lawn, I end up sharing my dorm with a girl named Philippa. I was so happy I thought I might cry.  


“I’m staying in the girls' dormitory, Baz, the girls!!” I shout at him when we sit next to each other for dinner. His friend Dev is there with his roommate. I smile in his direction and present myself. “I’m Agatha.”  


Dev’s roommate takes my hand. “Niall.”  


“Yes, well,” Baz says, around a mouth of mashed potatoes, “that’s not really a surprise, is it? Why would it put you with the boys if you’re a girl?”  


“Maybe the Crucible didn’t think I was one. Didn’t know.”  


Baz looks at me in that way of his, like he wants to tell me I’m stupid but doesn’t have the courage too. “It’s _magic_ , Ags. Of course it knows!”  


I smash my fork into a potato. “You can never be too sure.”  


“Honestly, I would rather it didn’t so it can put us together. I hate my roommate.”  


I laugh. “It hasn’t even been a day how can you hate him?” I frown. “Who is it anyway?”  


Baz makes a face like even the mention of his name is making him sick. “Simon Snow. The bloody Chosen One.” He points his fork to my right and when I turn I see a kid so small he doesn’t look 11, sitting alone at the far corner of a table. He’s wearing shabby clothes that don’t fit him and when he tries to put butter on his toast, the knife slips from his hands, falling to the floor and making a loud clattering sound.  


Baz laughs, saying he looks idiotic. I just think he looks sad. 

****

**Baz  
**

Agatha doesn’t hang out with me as much as we used to. But she does hang out with Snow. I don’t know if it’s because she befriended him or he befriended her or Snow’s friend befriended both of them, but I don’t like it, anyway. I tell her about it and she just tells me, “Simon’s all right.” I tell her that’s treason against the Old Families. She tells me she isn’t one of them. She’s right, of course. Her family is all in for The Mage, plus neither of them are really powerful. (I told her once I could beat her dad in a duel. She agreed.)  


When Agatha’s mother found out I’m a Pitch, she didn’t let me play with her anymore. But Agatha is convincing (really convincing) and her mother never knew how to say no to her, anyway, so we continued being friends (my family never said anything, but I think it was just because my father thought I can drag secrets about The Mage out of Agatha. I couldn't. She’s never paying attention when her family talks politics.)  


I don’t enjoy fighting with Agatha. Neither of us was ever any good at it. We would always make up in less than an hour. But now she hasn’t spoken with me in two days, and I don’t know what to make of it. I think about apologising, but I don’t like that either.  


On the third day, she sits next to me at dinner. I turn to her, opening my mouth, but she stops me. “Apology accepted.” I didn’t want to apologise, but I decide to keep my mouth shut. It’s better like this, anyway.

#####  ****

**YEAR 2  
**

#####  ****

**Agatha  
**

Baz and I have a fight again. He’s being ridiculous all the time. He keeps telling me I ignore him in order to hang out with Simon. “He can barely do any magic, for Crowley's sake Ags!” I tell him I don’t care about Simon’s magic. He knows that already. At this point, I’m sure he says that just to say it. Just to hear it out loud.  


I didn’t start hanging out with Simon because of his magic. I started hanging out with him because he looked sad and alone (Which was weird considering everyone wanted to be his friend. He told me he was scared to talk to people.) (And also because my dad invited him to spend Christmas with us.)  


It’s hard trying to be friends with both of them. All Simon does is complain about Baz, and all Baz does is complain about how I don’t complain about Simon.  


“You laugh with him about me,” Baz said, once, when we were sitting in the library.  


I sighed loudly. I already didn’t like the conversation. “What are you talking about?”  


“I heard you at breakfast. He said my accent sounds stupid, and you laughed.”  


“It was just a joke. Plus, he’s right. Your accent is funny.”  


“You shouldn't laugh with him about it, thought.”  


“Why not?” I say making a mark in the book I was reading and closing it. I prop my elbows on it.  


Baz looks at me in that way of his, and it makes me want to punch him. “Because he’s my enemy.”  


I laugh, but I’m not amused. “Baz, you’re 12. You don’t have enemies.”  


He huffs. “Whatever. You wouldn't understand, anyway.”  


I don’t respond. I don’t care about the Families and the war. I wish he wouldn't care either.

#####  ****

**YEAR 4  
**

#####  ****

**Baz  
**

Snow has a crush on Agatha. It’s painfully obvious. I told Agatha about it, but she just told me I’m seeing things. I asked her if she likes him back. She called me crazy.  


We barely hung out this summer. She said she wanted to spend time with her Normal friends and that she didn’t need my “dramatics”. She said we were going to hang out at school, but I know she was lying. We’ve been back for 3 months and we only talked once.  


“Ags, I’m serious.” I put my hands on my hips too, to drive the point home. “He likes you.”  


She brushes a strand of hair out of her face. We're outside sitting on the Great Lawn (Well, she’s sitting, I’m standing up to block the sun from her face). It’s almost dinner, so no one is around, and I think that makes it easier for her to be friends with me.  


“He’s just being nice,” she says, looking up at me. She smiles “You would know that if you stopped picking fights with him.”  


I frown. “No.” I take my hand from my hip to sway it around. “Besides, I know when he’s nice. He’s nice with Bunce all the time. He’s different with you.”  


She closes her eyes. “It’s nothing Baz, I promise.” But she smiles when she says that, and I don’t think it’s nothing.

#####  ****

**YEAR 5  
**

#####  ****

**Agatha  
** Simon has a crush on me. He and I are friends, good friends, and we always understood each other, and he’s funny and generous and always puts others in front of him and so when he asks me if he can be my boyfriend I say “yes” because I think it will make him happy. 

****

**Baz  
**

“You said it was nothing!”  


We’re sitting outside of Mummers House and I’m gripping her arm and for a second I think that the force of it might hurt her, but I don’t care at the moment. She lied to me. I was coming back from football practice when I saw them. Simon and Agatha kissing goodbye. The sight of it made me see red, an anger I’ve never felt before pulsing in my veins. It felt like getting kicked in the stomach. It felt like Simon Snow breaking my nose all over again.  


“And it wasn’t!” She says, taking her arm from under my grasp.  


“And now it is?” I say, trying not to shout. I don’t like shouting at Agatha. I know I’m going to go back to my dorm and feel sorry about all of this later.  
She opens her mouth, trying to explain herself, but nothing comes out. I wait. Eventually she settles on 

“It’s...something.”  


I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t think she knows why she said it like that either. She looks at me, her eyes big, like the day we met. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but she clearly must not like it. She shakes her head and says. “Look, Simon’s nice. Why can’t you just leave all this Old Family bullshit behind?”  


I want to make her hurt. “Easy for you to say that. You’re barely even a mage! If you want to go snog with The Chosen One, you’re my guest. You two fit each other perfectly. You’re both useless.”  


Agatha doesn’t care about her magic. She never has. But she cared about me at one point, and I can see that what I said got to her. She takes a step back, away from me.  


“You know, maybe if you wouldn’t be so obsessed with power you would have more than one friend.” She takes another step. “Zero friends.”  


Agatha turns her back on me and walks away. I want to shout at her retreating form that “I have plenty of friends!” but we both know that’s a lie. Dev hangs out with me because we’re family and Niall is always with Dev. But they’re spending time without me, too. A lot more recently.  


I sniff in the air. “Whatever.”  


When I go into mine and Snow's dorm and I plop onto the bed, I realize I was right earlier. I already regret fighting with her.

****

**Agatha  
**

Baz is an idiot. I've known this for a while. And sometimes when he gets angry, when he gets hurt, he says things he doesn’t mean, hurtful things, and I know he regrets it a lot of the time too. But recently he’s been too angry, said too much, and I’m not sure I can keep up with it.  


I never cared about my magic. About being powerful. I know Baz never befriended me because of it. But I don’t like that he called me useless. You don’t have to have magic to be useful, and you don’t have to be useful to be loved. I wish Simon would understand that. And Baz. And me.

****

**Baz  
**

Agatha and I haven’t talked in a month. Every time we pass on the hallways, she turns her head in the opposite direction and walks past me. I can’t stop staring at her. Especially when she’s with Snow. I hate her for it. I hate her for how easy it is for her to pretend I don’t exist.  


I watch her and Snow sit together at breakfast and lunch and dinner. I hear them laugh and tell jokes, and sometimes they even kiss. I hate how watching them makes me feel. How miserable and pathetic and angry it makes me. I know I should stop. I never do though, because I’m miserable and pathetic and I never had any ounce of self restraint in my entire body.  
It’s breakfast, and Agatha tells a joke. It’s not a funny one, but Snow laughs anyway and kisses her cheek. I bend my fork in my hand. I hate them. Both of them.  


  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


I'm in love with Simon Snow. We’re sitting on the Great Lawn, me, Niall, Dev and more than half the school. The weather is nice and Dev and Niall are laughing loudly and I realize I haven’t paid an ounce of attention to what they said (It’s not like they notice, anyway. They’re too busy looking at each other.) I’m staring at the other side of the Lawn where Snow is seated with Agatha and Bunce. He has his arm around Agatha’s shoulder, her side pressed against him, and I’m hit with the sudden realization that I want to know how that feels. Getting hugged by Simon Snow. Getting kissed by him too. I feel like I’m blushing (I’m not. I haven’t fed in a while. Snow keeps trying to follow me down into the Catacombs.) I turn back to Dev and Niall, but I feel like I can’t think. My mind goes back to that time I made Agatha’s dolls make out, but instead of dolls it’s me and Snow. I think I might be sick.  


“I need to go.” I don’t wait for Dev and Niall to reply, instead I just get up and go back to our dorm. The whole way up there, I can’t think of anything else than Simon Snow. And then I get into our dorm, I sit on my bed and I _still_ can’t think of anything else other than Simon Snow.  


I feel like screaming in my pillow. I do. There’s no one here to judge me, anyway.

****

**Agatha  
**

Baz is acting stranger than usual. We still haven’t talked after our fight outside Mummers House two months ago. I don’t like fighting, but so far I’ve been the only one to apologise. This time I’m letting him make the first move. I’m tired of apologising for having friends that aren’t him.  


Baz and I got assigned to help cook Pritchard today, and somehow he looks even more crossed at me than he was a few weeks ago. He doesn’t even call me Agatha anymore. It’s “Wellbelove” now.  


I wash the dishes and he’s helping cook Pritchard with the meals. He barely looks at me. (It’s weird. Usually he can’t keep his eyes off me. Especially when I’m with Simon.) When he needs something from me he's polite like he always is, but it feels cold, empty, like that time he got so mad at Dev when we were kids he pretended he didn’t know who he was. I accidentally end up putting the dishwasher into his hair and I don’t know if it’s because cook Pritchard was here or if he’s sorry for shouting at me back then, but he doesn’t get angry. He looks at me and blinks and says, “Can I have a towel Wellbelove?”  


I hand him the one I was using to dry my hands. 

“Here.”  


He doesn’t talk with me after this. I finish with the dishes and Baz with the meals and then cook Pritchard kicks us out. When we’re out the door, he looks at me for a second as if wanting to say something. Instead, he just turns around and leaves. I don’t know if this means he’s sorry for what he’s said, or if he doesn’t care at all.

****

**Baz  
**

Snow and Agatha are driving me up the walls. I try not to care about it. I try to pretend like seeing them together isn’t making me want to set myself on fire. I try to pretend like I’m not in the middle of a sexuality crisis and the only person I want to talk to about it is the one person I can’t. I keep thinking about that time Agatha told me you don’t need a Ken in a relationship...maybe sometimes you don’t need a Barbie.  


I don’t think I liked a girl. Ever. I thought about how beautiful Agatha is a lot when I was little, but I never liked her like that. It was like seeing a beautiful painting in a museum, but not wanting to hang it in your home.  


Last year we had an exchange student from America. Micah. I told Agatha in confidence that I was jealous of his face (it was so symmetrical). She told me I shouldn't worry. That beside my nose, my face is symmetrical enough. Pretty enough. I don’t think I was actually jealous of him (or maybe I was, just a little). I think I might have liked him.  


I like Snow a lot more than that; I think. His face is not symmetrical, not at all, but he’s still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. He has a lot of freckles and moles (I count them when he sleeps) and his hair looks soft. I want to run my hands through it the way Agatha does.  


Maybe I like boys because I’m a vampire. I didn’t care about things like this until my fangs popped. Or maybe I’ve always been like this and I just didn’t know it. I don’t think my father will like it. A gay vampire living under his roof. A gay vampire in love with the heir of our enemy.  


Yesterday Agatha and I helped in the kitchens. I didn’t want to get angry and make a scene (cook Pritchard was there). But when we finished, I wanted to tag her into a corner and say, “I think I’m in love with your boyfriend.” I didn’t. Later in our dorm, when I was sitting on my side watching Snow sleep (I think I may be deranged) I thought about what she might’ve responded to me. I thought about her slapping me across the face. (And then I thought about Snow seeing us and breaking up with Agatha and kissing the spot she slapped).  


I’m in love with Simon Snow. And I hate him for it. And I hate Agatha for getting to have him.

****

**Agatha  
**

My roommate lost her voice. Simon is convinced Baz did it, but I don’t want to believe him. No one saw him touch his wand, no one saw him say a word. Plus, I know Baz. He can be cruel, but he would never do something like this. He would never hurt anyone like this. But I guess I don’t know him that well anymore….

****

**Baz  
**

Fuck. I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t _know_ what would happen. I didn’t know what the recorder did. I was just so angry, hated what the sight of Snow did to me. I just wanted to help Fiona. I don’t know what I was expecting to happen. Maybe I thought I was entrapping him. That nothing could hurt him - or kill him.  


But then Philippa bloody Stainton showed up, and the recorder swallowed her voice in an instant. I tried to stop it (the recorder) as soon as I heard her. But it was too late.  


I could see the panic in her eyes.  


In Snow’s.  


The moment of realization. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.  


I’m avoiding our dorm. I’m sitting in the Catacombs draining all the rats coming close to me, wallowing in my misery.  


I want to talk to Agatha. (I don’t think I hate her. I think I miss her.) I want to say that I’m an idiot, that I didn’t mean it. I want her to hug me like she did when we were children. I don’t talk to her. Instead, I spend my days thinking how Snow must think I’m a monster right now. Thinking about how he’s right.

#####  **

SUMMER

**

#####  ****

**Agatha  
**

Baz doesn’t try to talk with me this summer. I don’t try to talk to him either. I’m spending my days with Minty and galloping and not thinking about how two summers ago my mom took me and Baz to the beach. He hated it. I laughed at him the whole time. We took a photo with my dad’s camera. I framed it and kept it on my nightstand. I wonder if he framed his.  


I don’t keep the picture up when Simon is here. It feels too weird. Like “Oh hey here’s a picture of me and that guy you hate!” Instead I keep it under my bed in a little box with my favourite things from when I was a child.  


I look at the picture right now. It’s well past midnight, but it’s the middle of summer and it’s too hot for me to sleep. I get up and go downstairs to drink some water. When I come back, I sit down and stare at the pictures from my nightstand some more. The Baz one is next to a picture my mom took of Simon and I the first time he came to see me compete. I take both of them and throw them under my bed.

#####  ****

**YEAR 6  
**

#####  ****

**Baz  
**

My efforts of trying to get rid of my feelings for Snow during the summer have failed. Miserably. Somehow I feel like it’s worse now.  
I wish I had someone to talk to about this. But I haven’t talked with Agatha at all in months, and I’m not going to start now.  


I spent my summer with Dev and Niall even though I feel like they were too busy to notice I was there (I think they may be dating.) On the rare occasion I hung out with one and not the other, I surprised myself by having fun. Niall is cooler than I thought. I think we may be best friends now if he’s dating Dev (but isn’t a best friend's job to know if you’re dating someone?)  


I’m not as close with him as I was with Agatha. I don’t think I’ll ever be as close to someone as I was with her. 

****

**Agatha  
**

Baz still doesn’t talk to me. But he keeps staring at me and Simon in the hallways, or in class. It’s confusing. I don’t know what he wants from me.  


Sometimes when he thinks I can’t see him his eyes get really soft only a second to pass and for them to be fuelled with hatred.  


I think it’s confusing for him too.

****

**Baz  
**

It’s hard to remember I don’t actually hate Agatha sometimes. I’m mad at her, and jealous and sometimes I want to go up to her and shout in her face but I don’t hate her. Except that when she’s sitting next to Snow at breakfast, with his arm sitting on the small of her back, with him whispering in her ear, it’s hard to remember that.

****

**Agatha  
**

I find Simon in the hallway outside the balcony where Baz takes his violin lessons. He’s fighting with him.  


“For the last bloody time Snow leave me the fuck alone!”  


“You’re up to something I know you are!”  


Baz opens his mouth to say something, something very mean and cruel most probably, but he stops when he sees me. He straightens his back and says, “I’ll let you know when I’ll go on a murderous spree. Just go snog Wellbelove and leave me be.”  


I grab Simon by the arm. “C’mon. Let’s go.”  


Simon looks at me like he didn’t notice I was there. 

“Agatha, he's plotting something I just know.”  


“Ok.” I say and it takes everything I have in me to not roll my eyes. “But he’s clearly not destroying the world right now, so I say you’re good to go. Penny’s waiting for us.”  


“Fuck. I forgot about Penny,” he says, and only then he looks like he’s finally here in the moment. He holds my hand and starts running down the hallway.  


I stare at our hands clasped together and I don’t know how to feel about that. I turn to look at Baz’s lost expression as we turn the corner, and I don’t know what to feel about that too.

****

**Baz  
**

Snow knows my secret. Not the one about me fantasizing to kiss all the moles on his face. The one about me being a vampire. He confronted me about it in the Catacombs. I was sulking about in the Children’s Tomb when he came out of the dark, his stupid sword already in his hands. I laughed at him. I pretended I was bored, that I didn’t care, I told him a story, sang him a song, laughed some more. I think I might've been a little drunk.  


I don’t know if he’s told Agatha about it. Probably. I think he tells her and Bunce everything.  


I never told Agatha about me being a vampire. It’s a secret, a secret my father always tried to hide and ignore. I don’t know what she would say. What she would think - I’m scared to find out.  


I can deal with Snow knowing I’m a monster. He called me that even before he knew he was right. I don’t think I can deal with Agatha thinking the same. Though I suppose she probably already does.

#####  ****

**YEAR 7  
**

#####  ****

**Baz  
**

“It’s not what it looks like!” I shout, except it is.  


Agatha Wellbelove knows I’m a vampire. We’re in the Wavering Woods and there’s a dead rabbit at my feet and her eyes are big and scared. The smell of blood intoxicates me (I didn’t drain the rabbit) and my fangs pop. I try to fight them back.  


“Please,” I say, and I take a step towards her. She takes a step back.  


“Wellbelove.” I wince. “Agatha.” Another step. She doesn’t back away this time. “You can’t tell anyone. They’ll pull my fangs out. They’ll take my magic away. Please Ags.”

****

**Agatha  
**

Baz looks desperate. I’ve never seen him look so scared. Does he really think I would do that? Does he really think I would hurt him?  


I break the distance between us, and I take his hands. “Baz,” I say, “I would never let them hurt you.”

****

**Baz  
** I open my mouth but before I can say anything Snow and Bunce come out of the woods gaping at us like a pair of fish out of the ocean. And in the next second, they’re gone.  


I drop Agatha’s hands.  


“What the fuck just happened to Snow?”

#####  ****

**YEAR 8  
**

#####  ****

**Agatha  
**

Baz hasn’t come back to school. I don’t know why. We haven’t managed to talk with each other after the incident in the forest.  


Simon is being weird about the whole thing. Both the “Baz has disappeared” one, but also the “me and Baz were holding hands in the Wood” one.  


Simon and I haven’t been acting like a couple in a while. I love him, of course I love him. We grew up together. He spends every Christmas at my house. I’ll always love Simon - I just don’t love him enough.  


I used to think it was self-defense. That if I didn’t let myself love him like that, then I wouldn't be hurt when something will happen to him (because it will. Everyone knows it. There have been too many close calls.)  


But it isn’t that. I love Simon. I just don’t love him the right way. Maybe I’m defective. And if that’s the case, why not just stick at Simon’s side? If that’s what he wants. If that’s what makes him happy.  


But maybe I don’t love Simon like that because it’s reserved for someone else. Maybe it’s reserved for Baz. I don’t know. Maybe he wants me. Maybe that’s why he was so angry that I started dating Simon.  


I hope Baz comes back. Maybe then I’ll know what I want.  


  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


I broke up with Simon.  


I think I should feel guilty about it, but I don’t.  


Instead, I just feel free.

****

**Baz  
**

I’m walking by myself across the courtyard when Agatha comes to walk next to me.  


“Basil,” she says, and I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t know what she wants.  


“Wellbelove.” I sound tired, I know I do. I’m always tired now.  


She frowns. “I wish you’d stop calling me that.”  


“It’s your name.”  


“Agatha is my name. People call me Ags sometimes.”  


I smile. I missed her. Maybe she wants to make peace. Or maybe she wants to put salt on the wound.  


“What is it, Agatha?” I try to sound cold. I fail.  


“I wanted to see how you are. You’ve been gone for a while.”  


“I was... busy.”  


She stares at me. “You look tired.”  


“I’m fine.”  


“Are you sure?” She puts a hand on my arm and looks at me, but it feels different from before. We stopped walking a while ago and she’s trying to get closer to me, cradle my cheek.  


I don’t like the direction this is taking. “Ags, what are you doing?”  


She stares at me, confused. She lets go of my arm. “I just thought...I thought you wanted-”  


I finally understand what she wants. “Agatha, I don’t...I’m not-,” I shake my head. I can’t tell her that. Instead, I tell her something else. Something true. “I’m not good for you.”  


She frowns. “Why does everyone think they know what’s good for me?”  


I put a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t know what you and Snow are squabbling about right now, but we both know you’re going to get over it.”  


She doesn’t blink. “Simon and I broke up.”  
There’s something inside my chest that feels very similar to hope when she says that, and I want to laugh at my stupidity.  


“Still. Trust me.” I take my hand away and walk past her.  


“Baz!” I hear Agatha shouting after me. I ignore her.  


I want Agatha to be my friend again because she missed me. I don’t want her to jump on me because she and Snow are fighting and she’s feeling lonely.

****

**Agatha  
**

I thought Baz coming back would fix things. Instead, everything is more complicated now.  


I don’t think I actually want him. I never thought of him like that until I suspected he might (I was wrong.) But I don’t want Simon either. I’m sure of that.  


Maybe I don’t want anyone. And maybe that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

****

**Baz  
**

“Agatha, welcome. Hello Bunce.”  


Agatha Wellbelove and Penelope Bunce are interrupting me and Snow’s snogging session by sitting in my library. They didn’t wait for Vera to get them. (They didn’t need to. Agatha’s been here before. She knows the way.)  


When Agatha notices Simon, she looks shocked.  


“What are _you_ doing here?” Snow asks.  


“Baz called us,” Penny says, walking up to me and handing me a plate of gingerbread biscuits.  


“What are you doing here?” Agatha asks Snow.  


This is very awkward. I didn’t expect Agatha to come too. And I don’t think I’m ready to tell her I was snogging her ex boyfriend. We haven’t even talked after...whatever it was that she was trying to gain out of me back in the courtyard. It’s not that I didn’t want to. I’ve just been busy trying to find my mother’s killer and keeping my Simon Snow crush in check.  


“What’s going on here?” Agatha asks, turning towards me. “Penelope wouldn't even tell me where we were going. I figured it out about halfway here and when I asked her about it, she ignored me and said it’s important and to just keep driving.” She turns to Bunce now, accusatory.  


Snow frowns at her. “I didn’t know what I was allowed to say!” Bunce says, taking a gingerbread biscuit from the tray.  


“Allowed to say what?” Agatha asks, frustrated.  


Snow starts. “We’re um-”  


“We’re trying to figure out who killed Baz’s mother.” Bunce beats him to it.  


“What are you saying?” Agatha turns to me. “The Humdrum killed her.”  


“Not according to her, he didn’t.” Penelope says taking a bite of her gingerbread.  


Agatha looks confused. Then she looks furious.  


“I can’t believe you got Visited by your mother and you didn’t tell me!” She shouts in my face.  


“I was busy trying to find her killer.”  


“I’m your best friend!”  


Hearing her say that warms my heart. I don’t want to show it. I crook my eyebrow “Oh are you?”  


She huffs. “Don’t be a git.”  


I smirk, but there’s no bite to it. I think she notices.

****

**Agatha  
**

Penny and Simon look surprised. I guess me and Baz have been fighting for so long they forgot we’ve ever been friends.  


Baz catches Penny and I about what he and Simon discovered so far.  


“I can’t believe you’ve been to a vampire bar.” I say and I give him a look as if to say, “You’re an idiot.”  


“Did you take photos?” Penelope asks.  


“Vampires don’t show up in photos,” Simon says.  


Baz frowns. “That’s mirrors, you dolt.”  


“You can’t see yourself in the mirror?”  


Baz ignores him and goes back to telling us about Nicodemus.  


I can’t believe him, and Simon just did that. They’re a bunch of idiots. Both of them.  


When Baz is done, and asks Penny what she found up, he turns his back to us and starts writing something on a whiteboard. I didn’t notice it before.  


“Isn’t that Daphne's?” I ask.  


“Yep,” he says with a pop, not even looking at me. He’s fighting with Penelope over the dry-erase marker.  


“I’m not sure you’re allowed to move it around.”  


He takes the marker from Penny and holds it high above his head so she can’t get to it. “You sound just like Mordelia,” he says, and he’s smirking.  


I smile. “Good. Mordelia’s a good girl. Responsible.”  


Baz just huffs and turns back to the board.  
Baz and Penny are still fighting over the whiteboard when Baz’s mom brings us sandwiches. I take the plate from her hands. “It’s so good to see you again, Agatha,” she says smiling.  


“It’s good to see you too, Misses Grimm.”  


Then Baz’s dad comes home, and he introduces himself to Penelope and talks about how he missed seeing me around (I don’t think he missed me. I don’t think he likes me that much, actually. But he’s polite, he always is, and every time he compliments me and Penny, Baz rolls his eyes.)  


Then Penny and Baz are talking about seducing vampires. About using me to seduce vampires.  


“I’m not even here,” I say, getting my legs under me. (I’m sitting in a chair and Simon is sitting on its arm) “When all of you are put on trail in front of the Coven, I wasn’t even here.”  


Baz smirks. “We haven’t even done anything illegal yet.”  


I raise my eyebrow in that way of his. “Yet?”  


“We aren’t gonna break any laws,” Penny cuts in.  


Baz rolls his eyes. “You and your ethics, Bunce.”  


“If Agatha doesn’t want to do it,” Simon says, “maybe you can convince your aunt-”  


“No.” Baz says, loudly, before Simon even has a change to finish his sentence.  


I put a hand over my eyes. “I still believe we should just tell the Mage.”  


Everyone looks at me, not saying a word. Baz’s eyebrows are furrowed in anger. He and Penny don’t want to involve the Mage. Baz doesn’t trust him and Simon says it’s Baz’s call since this is about his mother.  


“I can’t believe you trust him,” I say, turning to face Simon. I trust Baz, I always did, but I never expected Simon and Penny to do the same. It’s a little weird. And honestly, I feel a little left out knowing that they became friends without me. It’s like I didn’t try to make them stop fighting during our first 5 years at Watford. “Did he even tell you where he was the first two months of school?”  


Simon turns to Baz. “That’s a good question. Where were you?”  


“He was ill,” Penny says, turning to face Baz. “You said you were ill. You certainly looked ill.”  


Baz stiffens. “I was ill.”  


“You weren’t ill. Dev said you were missing.” I say.  


“Dev told you that?”  


“I told you we could use Agatha to seduce people,” Penny says.  


“No,” I say, “I don’t think I’m his type any-”  


“You said you were ill.” Simon says, looking into Baz’s eyes with an intensity I’ve never thought he was capable of. I can feel the moment Baz crumbles under it.  


“I was ill,” he says, crossing one leg over the other and smoothing out his dark trousers. “But I was also missing.”  


“Where were you?” Both me and Simon say at the same time.  


“I -” he clears his throat and looks everywhere but at us. “I was kidnapped.”  


“You were what?” I shout at the same time Simon says, “Kidnapped?”  


“Kidnapped,” he repeats, clearing his throat again, “By numpties.”  


“Numpties?” Penelope asks. “How did that happen? Did they think you were a huge water bottle?”  


“Actually, they put a cloak over my head when I was leaving the club.”  


“You got kidnapped at the club?” Both me and Simon are sitting up now.  


“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” He asks.  


“It’s not like I haven’t tried,” Baz says. “I guess nobody heard me shouting from inside the coffin.”  


Simon drops his sandwich on the ground at the same time I grab for Baz. “They hold you in a coffin for two months?” He says beating me to it.  


“Six weeks,” he whispers, “And I think they thought they were doing me a favour with it.” My hand clenches on his shoulder. If he notices, he doesn’t say it.  


Penny shoves his other shoulder. “Basil, why didn’t you tell us? This could be important.”  


Baz turns to her, glaring. “Why didn’t I tell you? Just think about it: who would pay numpties to kidnap the only heir of the Pitch family? Who raided my house twice this month - who threw my bloody cousin in a tower?”  


“Not the Mage,” Simon says.  


“Of course the Mage!” Baz shouts. He has both his arms in his pockets and he’s leaning forward over his crossed legs, his elbows sticking out like a bird trying to fly for the first time.  


I think him and Simon are about to have a fight.  


  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Penny is the one who concludes it’s not the Mage. “It’s not the Mage, Baz. It’s the murderer!”  


He licks his lips. “Not the Mage?”  


Penny smiles. “The murderer!”

****

**Baz  
**

She’s still convinced we should tell the Mage everything and if it wasn’t for Bunce to back me up, I would have been thrown in a tower by now, accused of treason.  


I’m dressing for dinner when Mordelia tells me Simon’s back. So we have dinner with him and after that we’re sitting in my room talking. (I told Daphne he’s afraid of the wraiths. That made Mordelia laugh at him).  


“You and Agatha used to be friends, right?” He says around a mouthful of turkey. (Daphne brought me food. I don’t like to eat in front of people.)  


“Yes,” I say. My voice sounds muffled and I try to clear my voice despite my fangs.  


“What happened?”  


“With what?”  


“With you and Agatha.”  


“She became your friend.”  


Snow swallows. Loudly. “You could have still been her friend, though.”  


“You’re my enemy.”  


“ _Were_ ,” he says, smiling.  


“In the eyes of the rest of the world were still enemies.”  


“Fuck the rest of the world.” He grabs my hand, putting it in his lap and intertwining our fingers.  


“I’m not sure it’s that easy.” I have half a mind to take my hand back. I don’t (I’m weak).  


“But it could be with you and Agatha.” He’s swiping his thumb over my palm. “I think she missed you.”  


I nod. “I missed her too.”  


“Does this mean you can be friends again? There’s no point in being mad at her now considering….”  


“Considering what?” I smirk.  


“Considering we're boyfriends now.”  


I take my hand back from Snow and turn to put the plates on my nightstand. “Maybe.”

####  ****

**AFTER WATFORD  
**

####  ****

**Agatha  
** The sun shines every day in California.  
I’ve got a flat with two other girls, and I wear sundresses now and sandals that tie around my ankles.  


I don’t think about The World of Mages. I talk to my parents and Hellen sometimes, and Penelope keeps texting me. I tried not to reply for a while, but that doesn’t work with her. So I let her text me and then I reply in three words or less.  


I don’t miss home. I like California. I miss Baz sometimes, though. I wonder what he’s doing. But I don’t have his phone number anymore, and even if I did, I’m not sure what I would say.

####  ****

**WAYWARD SON  
**

####  ****

**Baz  
**

I don’t care where we are. I don’t care what just happened. I don’t care I can barely stand. When I see Agatha, I extricate myself from Simon’s grasp and I hug her.  


“Ags.” I hold her in my arms tightly. I missed her. There’s ash in her hair. _She’s fine_. I clutch her in my arms even tighter. I never want to let her go.  


She hugs me back. “I missed you too, Baz.”

****

**Agatha  
** Baz and I are having coffee on my couch. Or rather, I’m having coffee and he’s suspiciously looking at his mug.  


“So,” he says.  


“So,” I say, taking a sip.  


“I’m dating your ex boyfriend.” He’s still looking inside his mug when he says this, and I can’t help but laugh.  


“Yeah, I figured.”  


“Are you mad?” He asks.  


I stare at him. “Why would I be mad? Baz, _I left_. I was the one who broke up with him. I don’t think I ever wanted him in the first place.”  


He raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his coffee. He frowns. “This needs more sugar.”  


I laugh. “You’re going to get cavities if you keep up like this.”  


He smiles, but he doesn’t say anything else. I clear my throat. “Is that why you were mad at me? Were you jealous I was dating Simon?”  


“What? No.” He stops, considering. “Maybe, I don’t know. A little.”  


I bump into his shoulder, and he flicks at my forehead. “Does this mean that we are ok now?”  


Baz puts his mug on the coffee table, then hugs me with one hand. “Yeah." He presses a kiss on my temple. "I miss having a best friend.”  


“I thought Penny is your best friend now.”  


“Bunce is alright. But she’s Snow’s best friend, and she isn’t you.”  


“You’re so sentimental, Basil.”  


He bumps me on the shoulder again. “Shut up.”

####  ****

**EPILOGUE  
**

####  ****

**Agatha  
**

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch is the most annoying person I’ve ever known. They drive me up the walls. (Yes, _they_. After we came back to Britain and Simon saved The World of Mages again, they finally had a change to live normal lives and figure themselves out. Baz realized he’s nonbinary. He goes by he/they now.)  


“I’m serious, Ags,” they say from my phone. I’ve been back in California for over a year now, but me and Baz text each other almost every day.  


Today he decided to video chat with me in the middle of the night to tell me they think Simon is going to break up with them.  


“He’s not going to break up with you.”  


“Then why has he been hiding from me all week?”  


I’m so exasperated I might give him his answer, but then I bite my tongue. I promised Simon I wouldn't tell them. (He texted me two weeks ago asking me for advice on how to propose. When I saw the message I squealed in happiness.)  


“Oh, you know Simon -”  


“You know something,” they say suddenly.  


“What me?” I say, trying to look innocent. “Never.”  


“Wellbelove, you better tell me what’s going on or else -” (We're not fighting anymore, but he still calls me Wellbelove when they pretend they're mad at me)  


“The connection is interrupting I gotta go bye!”  


“Agatha, don’t you d -”  


I close the call and throw my phone on the other side of the bed. It’s late, and it’s not my fault they're an idiot. If he thinks Simon is anything else other than madly in love with them, that’s his problem.  


I go to bed with a smile, though. Because even though Baz is exasperating, he’s my best friend and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

The next morning I wake up to a text from them. It's a photo, and he's holding his right hand high so you can see their ring. There are tears streaming down his face and Simon is kissing his cheek. The text: Interested in being Maid of honour?


End file.
